Mock Lab Rules

A friend send this to me while I was working at the Citrus Center as a molecular biology research assistant, I hope you biology majors get a good laugh out of this :)

-When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
-Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
--First draw your curves, then plot your data.
-Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
-Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
-To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
-If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
-In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
-Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
-Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
-All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
-No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
-Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.